15 Months

Since 15 months I am here in Bali now. I left my safe European home, left any medical support I could get in Germany, hung out strictly with local people to learn from them why Multiple Sclerosis basically doesn’t exist in Indonesia and how to fight my disease.

I am about to move to the rather remote island of Sumba in July and this are the facts helping me so far the most:

  • Daily meditation helps me better than anything else against spacicity
  • Daily yoga helps me with the pain in my back and the general physical coordination
  • physical exercises from this youtube-channel are good for basically everything

NEVER GIVE UP THE FIGHT!

Let the healing continue

  • Meditation is super-important and helps my mind
  • Yoga is great and improves my bodies wellbeing (and also supports my immune-system btw)
  • I love my food – it tastes great and more and more I realize what I have done to my body for so many years (btw I eat meat maximum once in a week now and I don’t miss it at all)
  • Jamu is a really affordable and tasty health booster (just look at the immune-powers of turmeric)
  • The acupuncture feels surprisingly good to my chronically aching back and is very affordable. I haven’t had it really on my list yet.
  • I am happy I never trusted too much in modern medicine, I realized and learned what a huge money-making-industry it is

Namaste

It’s not the meditation and it’s not the yoga. It’s not the jamu, it’s not the fruits and it’s not Bali or Indonesia.

It’s much more, it’s the sum of it all together. I don’t want to call it holistic, because it’s not, but the mind working together with the body, is important and finally I am starting to feel a bit(!) better.

Constant Changing

Today is grey sky and quite rainy. The weather has only one consistency, this time of the year its constantly changing. Not predictable in any way.

Other daily Things (like Yoga)

Another thing I learned is more about the general unreliability of the local people. “Unreliability”sounds too negative.
Let me give you an example: I had an appointment yesterday and because I asked, it was cancelled yesterday afternoon and rescheduled for this morning. Because I asked again, it got re-rescheduled on this evening “around 7pm”, so I guess it wont happen today either. I will have to wait and see.

My daily yoga-exercises (+ the meditation) are really feeling good. I am doing quite a loose serie of poses that feel good to me and only fridays I am having a guided lesson with a real teacher. My goal for now is not just to fight the Multiple Sclerosis but to end the strong pain in my back after two month. One of the few things that doesn´t seem to change.

My Fears

I realized that many of my MS-symptoms are by my mostly sublime fears or traumas buried deep somewhere inside of me. Some of these fears were caused in my childhood, some of them later.

For example I think my trouble with walking are on the first view a result of my poor balance, but where does that come from? I think its caused by a sublime fear of falling.

What was there first? The Chicken or the Egg?

Hm. I got no idea. Maybe my balance was rather poor all my life and this damaged balance was worsened more and more by the diagnosis Multiple Sclerosis and its widely known effects on the balance.

Again there are no simple Answers

We as humans love simple answers. We love to take a specific pill for or against something and cure or at least improve the specific disease over night. Everybody suffering from the terrible disease of MS will confirm you this approach doesn’t work with Multiple Sclerosis.

Lets get back on the fear-issue, dude!

What to do about ones sublimal fears? Again there are no simple answers unfortunately. If you ask Google what to do against sublimal fears like I did (despite asking Google is generally a rather bad idea, haha) you might get to answers which could look familiar if you are a frequent reader of this blog.

You will read about positive effects of meditation and some moving for example.