Whatever it takes. More than ever.
I will keep you updated.
This morning I met “the man from Austria”.
He is living in Sumba since over 20 years now and I would definitely say he is more Indonesian than Austrian now. Needless to say that he is fluent in speaking Bahasa and even his thinking seems much more Indonesian than European in any way.
He has got his own small farm (11 dogs, 30 or 50 ducks, 550 pigeons and a lot of pigs) here and since “Deutsche Welle” changed their broadcasting-system from radio to internet, he is not listening to European news anymore at all.
No. He seems to be very much informed and aware of what is going on in the world! He just doesn’t bother himself with the details anymore, which is very smart if you ask me.
Even though he is 71 years old already, he is aware about the influence of “the almighty internet” and regrets a bit not knowing or understanding it more. He’s not really ambitious to learn more about it though.
As he didn’t know Multiple Sclerosis as well, he seems a very remarkable person to me.
Waikububak is remote. Even for Indonesian people living in Sumba its quite far off the path. But still there is a foreigner here – living here for some years already. He seems to have made “80% bad experiences” here, but he somehow managed to survive and having started the 20%. That is at least what Tadir, a guy that both of us know told me and that’s basically all I know.
A thing I am pretty sure about is, that every MS is different to the other. Maybe not just “the big three” (PPMS, SPMS, RRMS) are existing, but dozens or even hundreds of forms exist. They seem to be as individual as the patient.
Unfortunately I think they will never be able to and this makes me really sad. Sure, the effects of this disease are similar. The myelin around the nerves is sclerotizing and this has similar effects, but the reasons behind it and the healing(!) are completely individual.
But the key to healing lies within everybody her- or himself. Yoga, Meditation and a careful diet are important and can help, but even though they might help a majority of patients, its not guaranteed it will help you or me.
We are as individual as our disease.
I mentioned it quite some times already. I am pretty sure I already made big steps in changing my thinking and yes, I am proud on that. I try to think longer before answering, I try to reflect my actions and, maybe most important, I try to forgive and accept.
But so far the theory. In real life I unfortunately struggle a lot with all this. Very often it is easier said than done and its freakin hard, because it means to give up everything, almost all I’ve ever been and many things I thought they were important.
I am still a baby and a beginner on my way.