I am still a Baby

I mentioned it quite some times already. I am pretty sure I already made big steps in changing my thinking and yes, I am proud on that. I try to think longer before answering, I try to reflect my actions and, maybe most important, I try to forgive and accept.

For a stubborn Bule like me, life in Indonesia offers many Options for that

But so far the theory. In real life I unfortunately struggle a lot with all this. Very often it is easier said than done and its freakin hard, because it means to give up everything, almost all I’ve ever been and many things I thought they were important.

I am still a baby and a beginner on my way.

Again: I am not indestructible

As I experienced last week on the backseat of my OJEK-driver: I am doing okay and getting better, but I am far from being the old me already.

I followed a quite good and slow yoga-video for Multiple Sclerosis and doing the unused poses for the first time was freakinĀ“hard and I bursted out in sweat and losing my balance.

Can somebody show me a shortcut, please?

Me and the squat-toilet

Well, my first times on a squat-toilet here in Sumba were quite challenging. Saying anything else would be a lie, but after some weeks now I seem to have adjusted. Its still kind of new to me, but thinking of a western standard-toilet is starting to feel strange now.

Using a Squat-Toilet is just one of my challenges here, but I am starting to enjoy it!

Something deep inside me even seems to appreciate it. Many scientists say squatting is the most healthy (because its the most natural) way to do ones business. Aside from that it is supported by the daily squats I included in my daily yoga and exercise-schedule and hey! I don’t know about your family, but at least my grandparents always had a small table in their bathroom to place it under their feet and help them to put their body in a more squatty position!

Multiple Sclerosis Patients are all highly sensitive People

Take me as an example. From time to time I realize how sensitive I really am. I am definitely hyper-sensitive. I am sensitive on interactions with other people, I am sensitive on nutrition, I am mega-sensitive on any pharmaceutical product and on and on.

Was it the even the reason for my MS?

Or did I become so sensitive because of my condition? What was there first, the chicken or the egg?

I am not the only one

Basically every other MS-patient I got to know in the years since I got diagnosed 2012 (and over the years these were quite some) had a similar attitude.