Since 15 months I am here in Bali now. I left my safe European home, left any medical support I could get in Germany, hung out strictly with local people to learn from them why Multiple Sclerosis basically doesn’t exist in Indonesia and how to fight my disease.
I am about to move to the rather remote island of Sumba in July and this are the facts helping me so far the most:
- Daily meditation helps me better than anything else against spacicity
- Daily yoga helps me with the pain in my back and the general physical coordination
- physical exercises from this youtube-channel are good for basically everything
NEVER GIVE UP THE FIGHT!
I am tired of all the compassion I am trying to spread around the people I love. No! Its more accurate to say “I am exhausted by all the compassion…”
I know how important it is to be compassionate. Being compassionate to others and being compassionate to myself is very important for healing. At the moment I feel like there is not much more I can give. I am exhausted.
One of the key-sentences of Guruji is:
“Self-acceptance is the key to healing” – I think he is very right. Looking inside myself confirms it as often as modern western science does. Just google for it to understand.
It’s not the meditation and it’s not the yoga. It’s not the jamu, it’s not the fruits and it’s not Bali or Indonesia.
It’s much more, it’s the sum of it all together. I don’t want to call it holistic, because it’s not, but the mind working together with the body, is important and finally I am starting to feel a bit(!) better.
If you ask a local person “Possible?” and the expected answer is as simple as “yes” or “no”, you might not get a true answer. The answer you might get is the answer that the person you asked thinks(!) you want to hear.
Probably its an act of politeness or even respect, but the answer is not necessarily true in a western meaning and I am a westerner.
Let me give you an example
If u ask how a third person is doing and the asked person thinks you are really interested in the wellbeing of the third person, you will probably get the answer “she/he is doing good” – even if the third person is quite sick.
Whats your problem with something minor like this?
My personal problem with such a minor adjustment like this is that I am really having a problem in building up trust and adjustment after adjustment is making it extra-hard for me to trust.
What does this have to do with Multiple Sclerosis?
The MS shook me in my foundations. The diagnosis literally took away the base that I was standing on and left me in a free fall. Loosing something quite essential like my ability to walk, slowing down my previously rather eloquent tongue and so much more.
So I long for trust – maybe more than ever before in my life.