I mentioned it quite some times already. I am pretty sure I already made big steps in changing my thinking and yes, I am proud on that. I try to think longer before answering, I try to reflect my actions and, maybe most important, I try to forgive and accept.
For a stubborn Bule like me, life in Indonesia offers many Options for that
But so far the theory. In real life I unfortunately struggle a lot with all this. Very often it is easier said than done and its freakin hard, because it means to give up everything, almost all I’ve ever been and many things I thought they were important.
Its hard and definitely not easy, but I keep on learning. This morning I tried to “run” again and realized very quick (to be more specific “at the first step”) my body seems to have forgotten how running works. So I decided to give me and my body more time.
Its all baby-steps, you know?
Quite often I feel like a new born baby and before a baby can run, it needs to walk. So I keep on trying. Walking without the support of my walking-stick was a good and important decision.
You remember the MS-spasms I am suffering from? I thought they almost left for good, thanks to the meditation, but like an old friend does sometimes, they started to show up again to show me I am not forgotten and bother me around bed-time quite bad.