I am running out of words to express my sadness, sympathy and grief for you and for them (at least if they didn’t want to go).
I am not thinking or speaking about anybody in particular. I suffered the loss of quite many losses during my life too, but luckily not anybody recently.
Thank you, but what’s your point?
My point is that they probably didn’t have the luck or chance to experience and learn what I experienced and learned here in Bali.
Having the pleasure of meeting Guruji Gede Prama was just one of the pleasures I mean. The longer I didn’t experience him, the more I learn about his incredible wisdom and the honor I experienced to talk to him in private.
For me, always being critic, cautious and sceptic, it was kind of a strange experience at first, but he got confirmed almost everywhere I looked. No matter if its the modern (western) science or already known and respected and accepted teachers like his holiness the Dalai Lama.
But why are you still not healthy?
I guess its just because of me. Gede Prama showed me the way, but I have to go the way alone. Too much self-hatred and a weird lack of motivation are blocking me. They only come from inside me and are part of the way.